I would go down on you faster than GM stock
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
