i would punch a child for taco bell
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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