i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
