it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
