Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i would punch a child for taco bell
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
