somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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