That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
