nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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