whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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