i just google imaged poop.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
