Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
