He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
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I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
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Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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