it wasn't lemon gatorade
I want to walk on stilts...naked
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
