I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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