I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
