Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize