Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
