I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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