What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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