ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
