where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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