you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Also, beer. Big fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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