she looked like the bat from fern gully.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
