It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
