I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
