The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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