Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
