just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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