too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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