you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
