I just cut my nipple shaving
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
