my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
