Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
