I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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