I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
