that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
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Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
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Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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