So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
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My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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