Don't you send me to vm
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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