Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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