can we get nightvision for the apartment?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
