can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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