I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
