That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
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All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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