I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
