Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
