I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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