My room smells like vodka and shame
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
