She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
