I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
