she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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