Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
