her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
