I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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