So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
