what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
