Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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