Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
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