it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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