Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
