miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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