Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
