Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
