dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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