come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
