apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Everything about him screamed your future.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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