Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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