I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
